The Unveiling
I’ve been back in my office for almost two weeks now after a four-month leave of absence. I’m a Designer. A typeface addicted, color theory curious, design history loving, visual communications problem-solving designer. In the super-competitive creative industry, my biggest fear is losing relevance, losing inspiration, losing trust in myself. I thought it was already gone. I never knew that taking four months off to spend with my son would be so good for me
For the past three-ish years, I’ve been more active in a leadership role than in a creative role—which is so rewarding, don’t get me wrong, but not in the same way. Before that, I’d always put my whole heart into my work; building my portfolio, staying inspired, reading, participating, sharing… But lately, it’s been more important for me to put my heart into the people than into my creative work. But I know that at my core, I’m a designer first, a leader second. This is where my passion is.
I should have kept working, kept challenging myself, in my free time for my own sanity. But free time? Wha? Even before I had a baby, by the time I got home from my ten-hour day, the last thing I wanted to do was go back to work after dinner. I was getting married, then I was a newlywed with a new home, then I was pregnant, then I was trying to sell our home… I was so burned out and just exhausted.
And so full of excuses.
Motherhood has given me a real ass-kicking, just in reminding me that I have to let some things go. I can’t be a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter and friend and designer andwriterandhousekeeperandcookandOHMYGOD. I needed to be willing to just let it go. And it’s made me a better person, I think. A better person who sometimes lets people down and has a really messy house and two metric tons of dirty laundry, but still. Better. And more free to do the things that my Type-A personality wouldn’t allow me to do before. I didn’t know how much I needed to be creating, needed to be pushing myself, but I do because it’s good for my soul. I’m trying to take care of myself, make me the best, most emotionally and physically healthy person I can be. This is my resolution.
One month into my marathon maternity leave, I started designing again. Nothing too groundbreaking; a couple logos for friends, a few sarahviola.org headers for myself, an invitation. But DAMN did it feel good to be working again. I mean real, inspired design, not micromanaged putthishere and makethatthiscolor and rotatethisinthatdirection and usethisfont. Design for people who trust me.
It’s been so much fun and so satisfying. I didn’t know if I’d get that back. But I did.
* We’re still working through still a few bugs in Safari! Eeep!
12 comments
Look at your work, how could you not be trusted with your talent? You are amazing and inspiring and superwoman. Thank you SO much!
LOVE.
I am so proud to be your father …
Beth’s blog looks amazing, great job!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me you can make me a header for mandajuice. PLEASE! I desperately need design help. Quote me a price and/or we can trade for financial planning.
You did great on Beth’s blog. You should be proud! Keep those creative juices flowin’ girl!
Gorgeous. Consider me blown away.
It looks great… you’re great. Love you!
Awww, Sarah. I hear you girl. After I had BJ all I wanted to do was stay at home and then it happened and while I was so happy I was so empty. And then I had Mia and, well, felt like I had nothing that was “my own.” My husband kept telling me to find something, to do something. I thought he was insane, until the day Beth emailed me a question about Photoshop and then ruby & roja was born. I’ve never been happier or more fulfilled in my life.
I totally her you on the putthishere and movethatthere and usethisfont notthatone. UGH and UGH. SMFD. But now, it’s not like that. I enjoy what I do and the people I do it for.
You did an amazing job on Beth’s site. Unbelievably amazing. I’m honored that you’re a ruby & roja girl. Honored. We’re so much better with you
And that comment your dad left? Brought tears to my eyes. You ROCK.
Sometimes I go to Beth’s site just to look at it because it’s THAT GOOD. It’s safe to say that you definitely have it back. I am in awe of your total kick assedness!
Wow. Really, wow! Beth’s site is so beautiful. I’m a designer too, but I’m not so good with the web stuff! I try, but print is definitely my stronger suit. Your work on her site is really inspiring. You have obvious talent
Oh this is good. And I sooo understand. I get it. and I know how good it feels to at least have a glimpse, a taste, just knowing it’s still there.
Steph
I took four years off work with my second. It was the best time of my life. But going back to work was good too.
Hope to run into you at Blissdom!
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