One Down
Well, it’s over. I survived. He, of course, was amazingly great all day.
All of your comments really, truly helped me get through it. There were so many different stories, and SO MUCH SUPPORT. I read every single one when I took breaks to pump. (This is my next, most immediate hurdle: my milk supply can’t keep up like this! GO GO GADGET FENUGREEK)
The support made the difference, I felt so much love today. I started getting text messages and emails before the sun came up, and they were still coming as I was on my way to pick up my sweet boy. Thank you so, so much.
My twelve-week maternity leave should have officially ended the first week in December. I found out the Monday before Thanksgiving that I was going to have an extra four weeks (economic crisis, what?) tacked on to my FMLA. I made an arrangement with my boss to return to work slowly, by working from home for a week. I found out Friday (!) that due to a change in circumstances, today was going to be my first day back to work, in the office. Without the working from home part.
A girly friend was going to watch Asher every day when I did go back (WHENEVER THAT ENDED UP BEING), but she had her own change in circumstances last week and isn’t available because she’s moving to the city. Soon. I have babysitting taken care of for the next week, but come next Tuesday I need to have something in place.
So here I am. I wasn’t prepared for today at all. Not emotionally, not logistically. You’d think I would have been, since I had so much time to prepare. But no.
And still, it’s ok. We’ll be ok.
18 comments
You could take three years off and still not be prepared for it. No one is, but you survived, and that’s all that matters.
Okay, pumping! My least favorite topic in the entire world and soon to be yours, I’m sure. Are you drinking Mother’s Milk Tea plus the fenugreek? I was drinking six cups a day, and even though it tastes like nasty, it helps. Just sugar the hell out of it. Also this is SUCH A WEIRD QUESTION TO ASK, but I have to ask it. Are you using the right side flanges? Because I went up a few sizes and increased my pumping output by two ounces. It was great, once I got over the fact that I apparently needed extra-large flanges.
You really will be ok. From one working mommy to another, it’s hard, but it does get easier. Hang in there.
I stayed home for a year and I wasn’t ready or prepared. At all. You have A LOT of peeps pulling for you and all will work out in the end. It always does…
Hope day 2 is going just as well.
I turned into a pumping pro the first few months after having the twins!
Congrats on surviving day one, I’m proud of you!
I am glad your day was blessed with the internet love! I hope you find a solution to the sitter dilemma!
Oh, I would love to be a miminanny to Asher if I could. Every day will get easier and who knows, you might just be able to work again from home some day…
I’m so glad you found some comfort yesterday. There were so many people rallying behind you and there still are, today and everyday.
You are a Super Mom.
Hi Sarah, found you through Folding Laundry. Glad you survived the day…I think its always harder on us moms and the little guys go blissfully along. Love your blog design (and rotating header!).
I’m sure it wasn’t easy, I remember returning to work when Jonah was 6 weeks old. I remember that first drive to drop him off at my mother-in-law’s. I remember how hard it was to be away from him for 5 hours straight. I agree with Erin who said you could take off 3 years and still not be prepared for it. I’m happy to hear that you found comfort in the support of the comments on your post, I’m the same way. When I am down and out, even a simple message from a “stranger” on Twitter can help SO MUCH! It’s great that Asher did well for the day! Yes, the little ones seem to handle these kinds of things much better than us mom’s.
It’ll get easier, but I must be honest, sometimes there will just be days when it’s really hard. Jonah is almost 2 and I still have those days when I long to be home with him instead of working.
<3,
Jen
Honestly, the pumping does not get any easier. I pumped for more than 6 months after coming back to work and finally had to end that relationship for my own sanity. But 6 months is a loooong time!
Leaving him will get better. The first day is the hardest and you have that one done already!
You’re doing great. It gets easier and you’ll fall into a routine. When I went back to work I switched to bottles during the day (even on weekends) so no pumping at work and nursed the off work times. Your supply and demand adjusts quickly. It worked great for me.
I’m hoping you have good updates from here on out. How did yesterday go?
Steph
Wow, lots of changes. I don’t care how you plan and what you do, it is still tough for a mommy to go back to work. I can tell you it does get easier. All mommy’s working outside the home and inside require lots of planning! Hang in there, you’ll get it!
It’s getting to be about time to setup Asher William-Cam again …
See! You survived!
As for the pumping: I AM FULL OF THE ASSVICE. But I pumped for an ENTIRE YEAR and Alex never once had a drop of formula (not that there’s anything wrong with that! This was just my own particular neurosis. Breastfeed or die, or something like that. But it’s not for everyone and I get that completely).
So ASSVICE: There is ONE THING and only ONE THING that makes any difference in your milk supply:
Your schedule. Pump when Asher gets a bottle. Every. Single. Time. (if your work-schedule allows it, obvs.). Keep on the same exact schedule as him and your milk supply will never let you down! I promise! (assuming you’re using a double-electric pump, too).
Boobs are these insanely amazing things; we completely underestimate them. But they have a TIME memory, I swear. If I skipped a pumping session while my kid had a bottle, at the same time/feeding the next day, I would only be able to pump HALF as much as usual. Your boobs only make new milk when you empty out the existing milk, so if you wait or skip a pumping session when Asher eats, your boobs don’t get the signal to make more milk. And then, since it’s they are self-regulating, YOUR BOOBS WILL REMEMBER IT THE NEXT DAY. They have a 24-hour memory.
I know it sounds crazy, but trust me! I did it for 12 months. Am boob expert. Hear me roar.
/end assvice. (But seriously if you want my phone number to talk about it/ask questions, I AM SO THERE.)
GO GO GADGET FENUGREEK)
I just read that and spit my drink out at the computer screen!! That is FUNNY!! GOOd luck to you, with everything.
I love your new look! How did it go this week back at work? Thinking about you and little Asher….
I love the new site sweetie, this is perfectly you- perfectly beautiful. I’m so proud of you for how brave you are- you are seriously super woman. When I went to work, it was very difficult, but there was a tiny part of me that enjoyed the “me” time- even if it meant that I had to be away from my baby and at a J.O.B.
I just hope that in all the difficulty of leaving your precious little boy, that you can find some joy, and purpose in what you are doing at work. And- I don’t know if you have found a babysitting solution- but if I can help in any way- let me know. I’m not working outside of the home right now- and I live so darn close. I’m always here for ya girl!
Leave a Comment